My Mom, and Me... More about me.... How I feel... | teeheartmarie's Blog
I wrote this about my mom a while ago, I decided to write more today....
I'm just one of those people that has to put my personal signature look on everything i can! I'm creative, original, and very resourceful. I’m inspired by anything n everything. My mother was very talented, deff were I get it from!She’s by far the most talented person I know or knew. She made me a mini Polly Pocket world, were there was little street lights, made on a huge piece of wood with sandpaper(black) on it to look like a street, she made roads (chock), took lil pebbles and glued them together for brick, stone walls. I also used to watch her draw (Sketch) a people right in front of her, and it would exactly the same, like people sitting down, on the bus it was amazing!
Why would God give a woman so many talents, to see her use drugs and waste it all. I don't wanna be like that, i don't want to waste it! Who says i have to be chained to things I'll seen in the past or done, I think those things still bother me a lot and i don't know how to get over them, how can I when the person has past that caused it? I cant even talk it out with her (my mom). I have been able to tell her things like, "mom I understand what you are going through and I don't blame you for anything" but She wanted to believe me, but i feel like her own self guilt took over. I loved my mother, I don't blame her for anything, but I do think some of the things i seen kinda messed me up a little, but Don'T get me wrong either, I'm very smart, self aware, etc... I mean, depression, mental health, stuff like that, i've done things for it in the past, but nothing seemed to work, counselling groups, meds, all of it... I feel like I do drugs only to cope, cause i really do hate them! I hate drugs with every once of hate i have in my body yet I'll spend my hard earned cash on it, not all times, only when I get sooo down, me trying to help myself doesn't work anymore. I've just felt so badly about myself lately, I'm sure my job doesn't help! I know, I know.... But i'm running out of things to do, answers, anything......Will my past hunt me forever? When will i move on from seeing all the drug use, woman selling themselves the grime of the city, I'm just a young, white, female, trying to be, learning to live life, learning more about me everyday.... I guess no one knows.....
Thanks for reading! Wanna chat more, friend me!
Love & Miss You, MOM....;)
My mood: very alive
There are no comments on this post yet, be the first to leave one!
Previous PostsA Quickie, HAPPY... The End Of C&A Group., posted March 22nd, 2013
From What I remember, And I do remember, When I was little..., posted February 9th, 2013
a little about me n relationships lol!, posted February 9th, 2013
Catch Up Pt 2, posted January 27th, 2013
Trying Baclofen, the addiction medication. (Catch up), posted December 1st, 2012
still using, posted November 27th, 2012
My Mom, and Me... More about me.... How I feel..., posted November 20th, 2012
My Mother passed when I was 19..., posted November 17th, 2012
Day's are getting worse..., posted November 14th, 2012
My "oh So True" Horoscope For Today..., posted November 13th, 2012
Reaching out..., posted November 7th, 2012
BlogrollHere are some friends' blogs...
HelpEmbed Photos Embed Videos